I was upset the first time.

  When I realized that my clothes smelled like you. All of them.
   Sweet and earthy; like flowers grown at the bottom of a beehive  - - - they were poisoned.
   Every last one of them.

   I don't know what I meant to say to you when I came back. I knew about him but somehow,
   somewhere along the line I managed to convince myself that there was a place for me. That I
   was to you something similar to what you had always been for me.
   I always meant to come back. I swear. I never wanted to leave.
   But this town is a tourniquet for old wounds and mine have been healing in the Northern Downpour.
   Have you ever seen the city lights blind the stars? The fog like feral ghosts clinging to the pavement
   reaching up over the horizon like the hand of some forgotten god into our cookie jar.
   Have you tasted water without salt? Does the snow run in your veins, next to mine?
  
   How did I come to be sitting in this car at 2:45 AM, by myself? There was a space for you there
   within arms reach - but maybe that's just it. Did you realize you were riding in the passenger seat
   of my life?
   Was that such a bad thing?

    I have so many question marks.

    I guess I never expected you to play it safe. He was a safe bet, even if we both knew better.
    There's a margin of error tucked behind my right ear and you always found it stuck between your teeth.
    Is it bitter? Does his lack of understanding taste better?
    Is it comfortable down there, safe but passionless?
    Because I may not be a good man and I may not be much of a man at all but I can promise like no other.
   
    I know he will never kiss you the way that I did.
    No one will ever love you the way I needed you.

    I guess I just never realized that you
    were just as selfish as I was.

I was upset the first time; when I realized that my clothes smelled like you. But now it's just
like finding an empty envelope:
you know there was something inside here once, from one place to another -
it's just not there anymore.